When you big sister made you your very own mini snow cone.
"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing." C. S. Lewis
You asked me if we could spend some time together. Just us. We painted. I loved these words that you chose to paint. May they be imprinted on your heart. This world offers us so many things. Grabbing our attention. Promising happiness. Peace. Fulfillment. A better life. But this world will never satisfy our souls. This world will never bring us the joy, that God can. I pray that in the years ahead. As the world tries harder and harder to make you think otherwise. You will remember these words. And remember true happiness is only found in Him. With Him. His peace, alone, will surpass all understanding. In the joyous days and the hard days. Keep seeking Him.
I love you.
We all had the post holiday blues today. We didn't really want to dive back into school work. So, we made brownies and homemade pizzas and that made everything a little better.
I think we all need a bit more babylike wonder in our world. If you are curious, you explore. If you want something, you find a way to get it. There's no fear. No second guessing. Just going for it.
Today, you decided to climb in the dishwasher. And then decided to throw dishes out. Never a thought crossed your mind. What if that glass breaks? Or what if I fall backwards?
Baby wonder, it's something special. And so is a sleeping baby.
You all were super excited to go to Mimi and Popi's annual New Year's day Parade and Kickball game. It is always a fun way to start the new year with family and friends. Having your grandparents and cousins living so close is such a gift. I hope you never take it for granted.
Yesterday, we began taking all of our Christmas decorations down. Out of nowhere in the middle of the cleaning and packing, tears came over me.
You know, every month that passed in 2016 was bitter sweet. We would celebrate another milestone of your life. Our miracle. Our final baby that God blessed us with. And each month, it was hard for me. Because, no matter what with you, everything felt so fast. And all the emotions felt magnified a bit. It's hard to put in words, but if you've been there you know. When you've dreamed of something so long and prayed so hard and then you are living that dream.. you want to soak every breath in and then some.
Well December came and surprisingly I wasn't anxious about your first birthday. I was so in the moment of the season and grateful for everything we'd been through. The celebration of it all was so beautiful. The reminders all month of Christ and His gift to us.
And then yesterday, as I put everything away it hit me unexpectedly. The year. Your first year. It was over. And for those moments I mourned a bit. I know. I have so much to be abundantly grateful for. But I felt a bit of loss. So many firsts, milestones, beautiful moments came flashing through my memory. And for that time. I let myself grieve that yes it had passed.
But the story doesn't end there. No. There is hope and anticipation of all things new. Yes, time has a way of passing quickly. And I feel like the older each of you get, the faster the years fly by. I can grieve this, or I can keep trying to be in the moments with each of them, learning more about love and grace daily. I am certain, I will choose the later.
Today, I am giving myself grace for those moments of grief. As selfish as they felt, I needed that time.
When you get a snowcone machine for Christmas, you invite the street over.
Today, you had your birthday cake. One day late. Just us at home on the back porch. You loved your cake so much. I think chocolate must be your favorite. After having your cake, we spent some time by the lake. Love these simple moments, watching you explore.
Birthday bath. In what feels like the blink of an eye, our baby girl is one. It's so ironic how I can simultaneously feel the brevity of time; yet, can't remember life without you. So grateful for you.
When big sissy paints Christmas trees but doesn't put up the green paint.
It was inevitable. I strive to keep art supplies out. They are to be used daily not for just special occasions. And yes, this often means messes in our home, but the creativity that comes from exploring is priceless. And so it seems YOUR exploring has begun
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
"But first, remember, remember, remember..." -C.S. Lewis
Today is world prematurity day. Our two youngest. Both preemies. One born almost 8 weeks early and the other 5 weeks early. One stayed in the NICU, while the other went home with us within three days of being born. Both miracles.
The challenges drew me closer to God and I felt Him during those valleys in the most beautiful way. It's amazing how our pain and darkness can make our eyes so much more open to His light. How we become aware of much more.
It's almost like we live in a fog when everything seems to be easy and just right. We let the wrong things consume our minds and our time. Our hearts and lives. I am striving to remember the valleys. To hold on to that longing. To the pain and fears He overcame. That need, that only He fills.
Today, and everyday, as I look at you both and I am reminded that His plans are perfect. His story unfolds through each one of us and I feel so thankful you are a part of my story. That He has used motherhood to bring me closer to Him. To make me more alive and more in awe.
You haven't wanted to play in this much lately. You are crawling all over the house and trying to balance by yourself now standing. You walk around holding onto furniture and I am certain it won't be long before you take off on your own. BUT....today, you crawled over and you wanted to get in. I am so grateful for you and the light you bring all of us.
You always have a football.
You are counting the days until you can play football for a team. We've told you that you can try out in middle school. I know this feels like an eternity to you. But, I also know just how fast the time will pass.
I worry about your sensitive spirit. But I know there are times we have to let our children fly. To be brave. To try. Win or lose. And be there no matter what the outcome. It's not easy. Not for this mama.