water and light. stops me every single time.
and this boy. oh, how i love his heart. what a blessing to have him to love and protect three sisters. such a gift to all of us.
The worries of life could be infinite; our health, our finances, our family, our relationships, our future. Through the years God has definitely shown me time and time again that He is in control, that I need to let go of worry and fear and trust solely in Him and His plan.
At 39 and pregnant with number four, there is a lot on my heart and mind. During our 3rd pregnancy I got really sick and our daughter was born almost 8 weeks premature. Those frightening hours have been making their way to the forefront of my mind; yet, I keep finding His peace amidst all the fears that want to take over. Life may not always go the way we envision. It will have its detours, but if we keep our eyes on Him, He will always point us to where we need to be.
I can’t stop thinking about the lyrics to the song called Captain by Hillsong United. Typically, I only share a portion of a song that is speaking to me, but today, there wasn’t a part I felt I could NOT share. I hope these words will speak to your heart as well. No matter what uncharted waters you are going through, always know, you are not alone.
Through waters uncharted my soul will embark
I'll follow Your voice straight into the dark
And if from the course You intend
I depart
Speak to the sails of my wandering heart
Like the wind
You'll guide
Clear the skies before me
And I'll glide this open sea
Like the stars
Your Word
Will align my voyage
And remind me where I've been
And where I am going
Lost in the shallows amidst fear and fog
Your truth is the compass that points me back north
Jesus
My Captain
My soul's trusted Lord
All my allegiance is rightfully Yours
He is our only son; compassionate, caring, and sensitive. His heart is as pure as I know. His mind still so innocent.
As much as I know all of this, I also know the realities waiting in the world. The world that will want to change him. To change his heart and mind. There is so much this generation faces in their youth. It's not that past generations didn't have the same challenges, they just seem to come younger and stronger now. Addictions to so many things...drugs, alcohol, pornography, fame, gambling, material possessions. The list is infinite. It scares me how much corruption our children can be exposed to and how innocently it can happen. Its such a reality that can't be ignored.
I keep thinking about these words from Need to Breathe.
Ramblers in the wilderness we can't find what we need
Get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in between
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes
Everybody needs someone beside them shining like a lighthouse from the sea
Brother let me be your shelter
I'll never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you're low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
More than ever, I believe it is so important for our children to have godly influences in their lives as friends. We can guide and direct our children, but there comes a time that friends and peers begin to play a huge role in their world. My prayer is that our son and each of our girls will have friends who they can count on to be "their shelter." Friends, that will be there to "light the way and bring them home" should they start to get off God's path for their lives. Additionally, I pray that each of our children can be Christ's light to those they are around. As the song says, "everyone needs someone beside them shining like a lighthouse from the sea"
I hope this is how they remember their childhood; simple, yet so full.
This morning the rain stopped and the sun finally made an appearance. The kids got dressed, grabbed their new nature journals and out we went. There is nothing I love more than having the chance to explore and enjoy the outdoors with our children. There are so many things fighting for their attention. To be honest, there are so many things fighting for our attention too. I want our children to see the beauty in the world God created. To see the value of exploring and using their imaginations. I want them to be in awe, the same way I am when I see the world around me. I pray I can lead and nurture them to have a love and enjoyment for slower days. Agendas that are free from the hurried life this world tries to impress upon them.
I loved these words I read today from Heidi Steffen. I couldn’t agree more with her thoughts.
"We have all heard the famous words by Henry David Thoreau, “All good things are wild and free“. In preparing for homeschooling my children, who with each year are getting older and older, I stopped to really think about this quote.Childhood doesn’t last forever. In fact, it doesn’t last very long at all. And so many of our children are being robbed of a childhood that is wild and free.
I believe it is up to me, as the parent, to give my children a childhood that is free from the busyness and stress, free from the addiction to things and to technology. I am not saying here that we say no to it all. But I am saying that we, as parents, need to teach our children, need to guide our children in making good choices. We need to model good choices. As parents, we must remember that we are being watched with every choice we make. It is not what we say that matters to our children, but what we do.
In her book, The Best Yes, Lysa Terkeurst has said this, “The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul"
When our children are young, it is up to us as parents to mold them, to assist them in their choices, assist them in choosing their “Best Yes”. Habits are formed so early in life. I want to choose the “best yes” for my children while they are young so as they grow, they learn to choose the “best yes” for themselves. Often it isn’t so much saying no to technology but saying yes to being with our kids, saying yes to outside time, to reading, to games, to playing and spending time with family and friends. Because with every “yes” to technology, comes a “no” to something else; and usually that “something else” is so much better. For our family, it means limiting the stuff we buy, being choosy in how we fill our days and use technology. Is our family perfect in this? Absolutely not. But I know that I don’t have to make these often difficult decisions alone. God is right beside me, ready and willing to participate in those small day to day choices that we make, those small, seemingly insignificant choices, that end up adding up and shape us into who we are today. And He is ready and willing to forgive me when I fail. I’m so thankful for His grace. Every day affords an opportunity to start over. It is never to late when we have grace."
On Saturday, our kids were super excited to have their grand parents, aunts, uncles and cousins over for a gender reveal party. Pink and blue was worn by all as each person made their guess. Our sweet three did a great job keeping the secret until the big reveal! Rain coming down, lots of excited squeals, and pink flying everywhere!
IT'S A GIRL!!!!
So grateful and blessed for this gift of life growing inside of me. Praising God through it all.
After days and days of rain.. a few minutes of fresh air did wonders for both of us.
"Sometimes what we learn and who we become in the process of waiting is even more important than what we are waiting for." -unknown
There were many years after we had our third child that we prayed and longed for another child. There were so many lessons we learned along the way. I would never have imagined that almost 6 years later these prayers would be realized; in His timing and His way. I know without doubt that God taught us so much in those years of waiting. In the years of unknown. The month before we found out I was pregnant, I had a renewed peace. A peace that perhaps the journey we had traveled was actually the gift He had given us; not a baby. When we wait, when we take time to listen to Him, we grow in ways that are incomparable to the days we let the rush of life keep our distance from Him. Today, I am so grateful for those years of waiting and all it taught me.
Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. -Henry James
"Some old-fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat." -Laura Ingalls Wilder
This pregnancy is cherished and my heart overflows with thanksgiving, but the past few months have included many days of nausea. Days I have spent hours in bed fighting the sickness and fatigue. Our three children have been amazing as I weather these feelings. They have been patient and self-sufficient during this challenging time.
Last night, after a long afternoon in bed, we retreated to the backyard to play by the lake to enjoy the last bit of sun. Our three kids made up games and threw the football by the shore. They laughed and squealed and ran wild and free. It wasn't long before they were all soaked in their clothes from head to toe. The night ended as they showered outside in the summer's warm air.
I am so grateful for this place we call home and the memories we make here. For me, this is what summer nights are all about. A simplistic fun; no time schedule, no set plans, just spontaneity and discovery. This summer, I cherish these nights in a new way. I cherish these simple memories. I cherish the fresh air that brings a newness and an aliveness that we all crave.
"You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn. You're human, not perfect. You've been hurt, but you're alive. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to be with people you love. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend."
-unknown
I've been thinking a lot lately about how everything in a year can change so much. And then the reality hit me how our lives can become drastically different in one day. In one moment. A phone call, a life changing event. A blessing, A heartache. So much can change in an instant. More and more I am profoundly aware of how precious each day is. We need to make the most of every moment we are given. We need to soak it in.
